Vital Moments

Queues and Bones

Pressing their luck this week: Noah Hurowitz, Mike Hurowitz, Madeline Leung Coleman, Nolan Hicks, Nathan Tempey, Molly Osberg, Rick Paulas, Sean Lavery, Kiara Barrow, Rebecca Panovka, Jon Caramanica, Ross Barkan, Joanna Biggs, Alex Press, Rachel Poser, Saahil Desai, Andrew Eckholm, Nancy Ko, Edmund Lee, Kenneth Li, and many more…

Photo by Tanya Kulesh

It’s been a heavy writing week at The Fine Print, and we’re struggling to contain our excitement about a series we’ve had in the works for months, which we’ll begin publishing next week. Nevertheless, the parties continued — from a dice-rolling birthday in Williamsburg to yet another Drift party in the Bowery.


On Saturday, March 4, El Chapo chronicler and Rolling Stone contributor Noah Hurowitz and his twin brother Mike Hurowitz celebrated their birthdays at Blinky’s Bar in Williamsburg. Noah bounced around telling guests of his appearance in this column’s upcoming section last week, “I leaked the news of my party. I was in the society pages.” He claimed this was unusual behavior for him. “I’m violating my own rule, because I always tell everyone I know, never, ever talk to a reporter,” he told The Fine Print. “I had a funny thing happen recently. Me and [New York contributor Max Pearl] were playing pool at our new favorite bar and this woman was standing in the shadows, literally. We were about done and I was like, ‘Are you waiting to play?’ And she comes out of the shadows and is like, ‘Actually, I’m a reporter.’ I was like, ‘I’ll stop you right there. We also are both reporters, and we don’t talk to reporters.’ She was some kind of style reporter for the Journal and she was trying to do some vox-pop thing about catfishing. I told her, ‘No, we’re not gonna be quoted, this is off the record.’ She goes, ‘Okay.’ Then I was talking about catfishing or something, and she very admirably was like, ‘So can I just quote this?’ And I was like, ‘No, you can’t quote shit.’”

Birthday bros Mike (left) and Noah Hurowitz

They packed the bar to the point where it was hard to get a drink. Among the attendees were New York culture features editor Madeline Leung Coleman, New York Post City Hall reporter Nolan Hicks, former Google spokesperson, and Noah and Mike’s sister Kate Hurowitz (Which of the twins would she save if they were drowning and she could only save one? “Mike and Noah go back and forth in terms of who’s more jacked, but Noah would probably survive through sheer force of will,” she said, before correcting herself, “sheer force of ego.”), former Brooklyn Paper deputy editor Nathan Tempey, ubiquitous media type Mark Allen (who spent Christmas night with Noah at Do or Dive in Bed-Stuy), former Jezebel senior reporter Molly Osberg, tireless Twitter tout and New York Times contributor Rick Paulas (who pointed out the lights of the Kosciuszko Bridge in the clouds from Blinky’s backyard), New York Times contributor Kate Mooney, former BuzzFeed global managing editor Susie Armitage (who stayed consistent with last week’s appearance by wearing a touch of glitter), and New Yorker head research editor Sean Lavery, who had big news on two fronts. The first is in Whirligig, below. The second: “I saw Big Thief last week at Radio City Music Hall.” Which song did he sing along to? “Simulation Swarm.”The party attracted an unusual number of self-identified “chain guys.” Streetsblog reporter Dave Colonaccessorized his gold chain with an “All the Senior Ladies” shirt. How did they all become chain guys? “It stems back to when Noah started wearing a chain,” said Mike. “He calls it a bit, but it’s actually because a girl that he was into at the time told him that chains are hot. So he got a fake $10 chain and was like, ‘It’s a bit,’ and then realized how sick he looked and became a chain guy. I had the exact same trajectory, minus the girl telling me it was hot. Then we convinced Dave to become a chain guy.” Noah plotted out the next steps in the trajectory. “I’m in a transitionary period right now,” he said. “I need to get a little one. I’m going from 2.5 millimeters to two millimeters.”

After midnight, a circle crouched in the back of the bar, betting dollar bills on dice rolls under the image of an astronaut on a couch in space. “Nobody has ever accused the Hurowitz boys of throwing a bad party,” said Mike. “We throw sick fuckin’ parties, off the record.” Noah jumped in: “That’s on the record.”

Noah emailed his birthday resolution the next day: “Live love laugh and eat less meat.”

On Tuesday, The Drift hosted a party at Ainslie Bowery to celebrate its ninth issue. “It’s our first time having a party in actually cold weather,” co-editor Kiara Barrow said. “It’s so cold. We don’t want people to have to stand outside for a long time.” Her co-editor Rebecca Panovka joked that they should distribute hot toddies to people in line to get in.

Photo by Tanya Kulesh

While claiming the party took place on Wednesday, The Cut’s Bindu Bansinath observed in her report, “it was difficult to tell whether any famous writers were in attendance.” We don’t quite know where the bar for fame is, but in our customary party reporting frenzy, The Fine Print clocked New York Times pop music critic Jon Caramanica, writer Ross Barkan (who has big news in Whirligig, below), book review poet Adrienne Raphel, Harper’s senior editor Joanna Biggs and assistant editor Lake Micah (“I had to tell the bartenders, ‘Anyone but me who says “the drink is on Lake,” cannot do it.’ And the bartenders say, ‘Oh sure, because everyone’s going to be asking me about you.’ And I’m like, ‘Actually, this happened.’ Last time it was more than $200, and, listen, I respect the grift.”), Jacobin staff writer Alex Press, New York Times Magazinestory editor Rachel Poser, Newmark Graduate School of Journalism lecturer Jessica Jacolbe (“I have a lot of Pisces friends, I don’t know why. Every person I know has a birthday in March, so it’s birthday party after birthday party. That’s going to make up for the bleak weather.”), Paris Review web editor Sophie Haigney, Atlantic senior associate editor Saahil Desai, Mother Jones reporter Ali Breland, Bloomberg News senior editor Sid Mahanta (“Coat check has been at capacity for at least the last twenty minutes. This might dictate how long I’m here.”), Acts of Desperation novelist Megan Nolan, British political scion Peter Huhne(“What’s the craic?” he asked. “Oh, you’ve not heard this? It means ‘What’s going on?’ It’s Irish and it hasn’t made it over here. It’s a wonderful phrase, it’ll change your life.”), Pitchfork contributor Sophie Kemp, Columbia Journalism Review contributor Jem Bartholomew, n+1 contributor Andrew Eckholm (“I went to the Florida Keys,” he said. “Strange place, I like it a lot. It’s a very particular combination of being very expensive and very low-class coded.”), New York Times opinion staff editor Parker Richards, New York Times contributors Magdalene Taylor and Kate Dwyer, Forever Magazine co-founders Anika Levy and Madeline Cash, Defector staff writer Giri Nathan, Grid reporter Matt Zeitlin, The Millions editor Sophia Stewart (“I saw Weyes Blood and it was an incredible show, I had the best time. Her opening act was a professional whistler.”), and Drift staff Jordan Cutler-Tietjen, Thayer Anderson, Max Norman, Krithika Varagur, and Erik Baker.

Photo by Tanya Kulesh

Though it was hard to keep one’s attention from wandering to the DJ fidgeting in his Hawaiian shirt in the booth above the readers, the night’s readings went off almost without a hitch. Contributor Nancy Ko stood barefoot after her reading, holding her high heels. Had she taken them off to get in the right headspace to read? “It’s just because my feet hurt,” she said. “It’s a common fate of heterosexual women.” The only hiccup was in the final moments when the microphone cut out in Panovka’s hands. “I think we’re done anyway,” she shouted.

On Wednesday evening, media reporters from across publications gathered at The Magician on the Lower East Side. The staff of Hell Gate showed up, too, though they insisted it was a coincidence. (Old media bars die hard!) We’re not covering it in detail because sometimes media reporters need to just hang out, but near the end of the night, The Fine Print asked to take a photo of the organizers, New York Times assistant editor Edmund Lee and Reuters global tech editor Kenneth Li. They looked great, but the photo turned out terrible:


7 p.m. Sali e Tabacchi Journal will celebrate its latest issue with a party and an edible installation by artist Adriana Gallo at Sey Coffee in East Williamsburg.

7 p.m. As part of the ongoing Fiction/Non Fiction Conversation Series, New Yorker contributor Sarah Schulman will talk with novelist K.M. Soehnlein to commemorate the 30th anniversary of Act Up at McNally Jackson Seaport.
7 p.m. McSweeney’s contributor Johanna Gohmann, Popsugar contributor Hanna R. Neier, and Insider senior health reporter Julia Pugachevsky will read as part of the Brooklyn Writers Space Reading Series at Threes Brewing Gowanus.

12 p.m. The Silurians Press Club will present Joyce Purnick, the first woman to lead The New York Timesmetro department, with a lifetime achievement award at The National Arts Club on Gramercy Park.

7 p.m. HuffPost contributor Laura Cathcart Robbins will launch her memoir Stash with a conversationabout the intersections of addiction, recovery, and race with HuffPost Personal deputy editor Emily McCombs and New York Times and Paper contributor Jessica Hoppe at The Center for Fiction in Fort Greene.

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